I've always found it boring to meditate. I find it very difficult to be completely aware of the present moment too. But the practice that has finally resonated with me is observing myself and others as a third person. It's become really fun to do, as I've begun to get the hang of it.
When I'm deep in anger, I consciously let myself yell. When I am pained, I let my tears flow. When I'm happy, I let myself rejoice the way I wish. I also enjoy feeling the state of the people around me by imagining their conditioning and biases. But behind the conscious indulgence in all these feelings is a watchful, observant self. I try to keep that self alive, though majority of the time it stays merged with my ego. I basically wish to enhance my perception of the world through the process. And get a step or two closer to the supreme truth.
Have you ever tried to observe yourself?
When I'm deep in anger, I consciously let myself yell. When I am pained, I let my tears flow. When I'm happy, I let myself rejoice the way I wish. I also enjoy feeling the state of the people around me by imagining their conditioning and biases. But behind the conscious indulgence in all these feelings is a watchful, observant self. I try to keep that self alive, though majority of the time it stays merged with my ego. I basically wish to enhance my perception of the world through the process. And get a step or two closer to the supreme truth.
Have you ever tried to observe yourself?
yes, i have observed myself few times and since few months, I have been only talking to myself.
ReplyDeleteyou have very nice posts, how do I follow you, i dont see a link here.
Thanks RAN IN JAN. I have added the subscription option now.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking constantly inside oneself is exhausting, isn't it? Have you tried avoiding the conflict/chatter inside by being just a silent observer of your thoughts and your mind? It's been a difficult but amazing experience for me. To know, when you get angry, that the ego is hurt and is seeking revenge. To know, when you feel proud, that this glory is insignificant and may be even unreal.
But often when we have strong emotions, we let them take us over completely. If we can manage to just keep observing (with no effort to affect the anger), we can instantly SEE why we are feeling what we are feeling. It's always a false entity inside us (our ego) that is trying to boost/heal/pleasure itself. That realization can take away the intensity of the negative feelings. That has worked for me to an extent.
I am person, who has failed in my endeavors and the frustration has effected my relations and my personal behavior very badly.I was very frustrated and hence came the anger. It continued for few years. But few years back, when I looked into myself,I was afraid. I was afraid to see what was I thinking. Then I started reading philosophy,it compelled me to think about me and I chose the 3rd person. That is when I realized my true nature and my weakness in my personality. I am changing it now. Generally I am a person, who never seeks for revenge and I get angry rarely. But these things had become huge. Now that I have them under my control.
ReplyDeleteI have added you in my subscription. Would like to read all your posts.
Happy to read that, my friend. And thanks for boosting my ego ;)
ReplyDeleteyour welcome N!V
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