Paradox

Paradox is all around me.
I've met a gentleman who recently embraced vegetarianism by choice. He reflects great deal of passion when he tries to convince his audience of his new food philosophy. Of course he only prefers leather shoes with his black suit.  Faux material is out of question, for he is a 'man of good taste'.
I've known an angelic face once enchanted by the cuteness of a rabbit, who later paid a fortune to don fur on her wedding
I've seen a naive damsel proudly wrapped up in dazzling shades of fine silk, oblivious of the horror that a million worms go through to adorn her.
I know a compassionate priest. He'd give his life away for a piece of bacon but refuses to even imagine the life and agony of the animal he consumes.

Paradox is within you and me.

For once can we try to look at things in their entirety please? I'll leave the painful examples to you for later. Let's just take our regular potato fries. What can we see? The skill of the chef. Intent of the helper. Effort of the vegetable vendor. Intent of the potato distributor. Hope of the farmer. Fertility of the soil. Magic of the monsoon. And contributors to making of the salt, oil and vessels? If we put it in words, this is an endless observation. But in silence we can just look at the object and perceive its truth.

And the truth is there were so many hands that intended well and worked hard to have these fries to us.

Would expanding our perception towards everything and everyone we encounter help us get any closer to the ultimate truth?

Of absurdity

Life sure seems like a long journey. But if I step aside and look at it as an outsider, I see I've only run around a circle all my life. Chasing. Suffering. Condemning. Believing. Seeking. Celebrating. The objects change but the game persists. The desire to fill up the void within manifests itself into different forms. The longing for love. The passion to conquer. The inclination towards a faith or ideology. The return to intoxication. The satisfaction from acting morally or bringing a societal change. The attachment to an identity that I call 'me'. I subconsciously produce these coverups but nothing truly brings fulfillment. The closest I get to happiness is by reinforcing the belief that I am happy (because my life is perfect) and by brutally murdering the negative emotions. But these solutions are short-lived. And I've cheated myself repeatedly, subconsciously always knowing that something isn't fine. That the fulfillment has just not been there. That it is no where on the horizon.
Clueless, helpless I continue to run around the circle of hope and despair. Not like a particle that, bound by laws, revolves around a nucleus. I move like an anarchist. Chasing not an ambition. Following not an ideology. Acting not to fulfill my desires. Not knowing the point of doing this or that. Amused by the meaningless conviction of those around me. But also by my own absurdity.

One step closer...

I've always found it boring to meditate. I find it very difficult to be completely aware of the present moment too. But the practice that has finally resonated with me is observing myself and others as a third person. It's become really fun to do, as I've begun to get the hang of it.

When I'm deep in anger, I consciously let myself yell. When I am pained, I let my tears flow. When I'm happy, I let myself rejoice the way I wish. I also enjoy feeling the state of the people around me by imagining their conditioning and biases. But behind the conscious indulgence in all these feelings is a watchful, observant self. I try to keep that self alive, though majority of the time it stays merged with my ego. I basically wish to enhance my perception of the world through the process. And get a step or two closer to the supreme truth.

Have you ever tried to observe yourself? 

Breaking my silence

"Hang the rapists!"

"Castrate the bastards!"

"Girls must not wear provocative clothes or stay outside at night."

"It's all an effect of westernization. Our Indian values are dying."

"Only the harshest punishment can solve the problem."

It all feels like dark humor to me. As the country continues to endure an unbearable headache, everyone is suggesting the strongest doses of painkillers, ignoring the possibility of a deadly tumor inside. What a shame! Could we for once, as disgusting as it may sound, step into the shoes of a rapist and understand what made him so? I can see clearly so many reasons and am sure that you can come up with many more:

First, our society illogically dismisses a fundamental need of humanity. Sexuality is considered sinful or sacred depending upon the context, but never an obvious urge. Women, with naturally higher self-control and larger obligation of preserving their chastity, mostly accept abstinence. Men, obviously then, become greater victims of the sexual oppression and develop mental aberrations of several kinds.

Second, though our society clarifies its expectations of sexual restriction, it does not show a path. Having taken away the practices of yoga and dhyana from curriculum, how do we expect the men to observe brahmacharya? Is self-control or compassion systematically taught or rewarded in our schools or homes? Or do we have a commonly known fix for the sex hormones?

Third, through our tendency of covering up women, we have objectified them. And so, a few girls in cities who display their shape or skin must seem like desserts amongst a widespread famine. Now, what would be a viable solution? Covering up the desserts, suppressing the appetite, justifying hunger, raising punishment for defaulters or simply accepting that the hunger exists.

Fourth, in most parts of the country women are possessed. Women surrender. Women obey. Boys grow up seeing this in their homes and neighborhood, sometimes even in the most posh localities. Isn't it natural, then, for men to harness this inclination to own a woman or defile her if she revolts?

Fifth, it's in men's nature to openly explore their sexuality (unlike most women). The film industry, print media, television and internet all cater to a grave and unmet need in the country, thereby intensifying it much further. A lot of men who haven't yet turned rapists have at some point groped a passing girl, touched private parts of unconscious acquaintances, rubbed themselves against women in traffic and indulged themselves that unintended show of tender skin. I have heard and seen so many instances around me. Haven't you?

Let's drop all our previous conditioning and think impartially for a moment - if a problem is so widespread, can it be an individual's fault and can it be cured just by fixing the offenders. When a man has gone mad in his lust, he is blinded by everything else. Isn't it foolishness to expect that the crime that most commonly arises out of a subconscious dearth can be contained by punishment?

Don't get me wrong. I am not justifying rapes by any means - I am a girl myself! I am just looking at the issue objectively and logically. I am just saying that you and I, given the DNA and life experiences of a rapist would have been exactly like him. The problem is very deep and widespread, and requires a more holistic solution. Perhaps encouraging self-reflection, compassion or open-minded spirituality in the society? Whole-hearted acceptance of body's sexual needs? Effective dissemination of techniques for self-abstinence? Eradication of violence and sex from media? May be a combination of all or something totally different? I am no moral police. This is just my attempt to break my silence amongst the mad anger and irrational arguments that I have been witnessing for months.

Heaven and hell

I had an interesting conversation with one of my new friends today. He shared a thought that moved me profoundly. And I wonder why it never occurred to me before!
Are heaven and hell just different states of our post-life conscience or ethereal liberation? Do they only refer to the way we feel when we die and come to terms with our true selves? Is heaven the sense of satisfaction or serenity that's experienced by a compassionate and guilt-free soul? Is hell nothing but the remorse of a sinful spirit?

Seems plausible...

God - beyond religions

He is everything there is, everything there can be...

And yet he's so mine. Totally mine.

I can converse with him at the dirtiest of locations.. And you know what, he doesn't mind.. I love him 'coz he never requires me to visit temples or follow rituals.. He pats on my back when I do something good.. Yet, he saves me from an overdose of pride and perpetuates my desires to achieve further.. He fills me with guilt when I do something wrong.. But also gives me the chance to correct and improve myself.. He rarely makes me feel that I'm special.. And still makes sure that I don't feel like a loser..

To me God is matter.
To me He is energy.
And to me He is the link between the matter and energy.
He is what created the universe.
He is what runs the universe.
He is what the universe is.
He is everything there is, everything there can ever be...

That's my hypothesis. And if it's true, I should be able to love everything, good or bad, alike.

A Hindu by origin. A secular by choice.

If you do not believe in the historical existence of Shri Rama, are you not a Hindu?
If you refuse to observe fasts in the month of Ramadan, are you not a true Muslim?
If you love your short bangs, are you defying the ideals of Vaahe Guru?

I don't agree on these questions with a majority of believers.

I seek to separate true knowledge from blind faith.
I seek to figure out the differences and similarities among religions.
I seek to discover the essence of all the beliefs.

My posts to follow contain my views on religions. And I understand that it's a sensitive domain to venture into. Please pardon me if I hurt any of you. I only wish to stimulate a logical thinking on this forbidden topic.