Conversations inside me

"We are all chained to some extent. To our prejudices, beliefs and choices. We are all bound. What matters is how aware we are of our conditionings. "

My ego: Hey, not me! I am the most open-minded one among my acquaintances. My past may be a bit sloppy but I have a bright future ahead of me. I am a dreamer and I'd live for my dream.

Self: Really? Aren't you a prisoner of your own dreams? 

Ego: Well, technically yes. But dreaming is necessary for happiness! What's life without a purpose?

Self: Hmm. What if Playing Football is your biggest passion and you terminally injure your legs? Or what if you love singing and suddenly lose your voice?

Ego: Are you a sadist or what? Anyway, you know what I'd do? I'd still fight. I'd get artificial legs and play with them. Or I'd dedicate my life to help other singers achieve their dreams.

Self: What if you also become broke and unable to do help anyone else or yourself?

Ego: Shut up! Nothing like that will happen.

Self: You know anything can happen. I can smell some fear inside you already.

Ego: I create my own reality. Through my hardwork and good karma.

Self: Oh you mean misfortune only attacks lazy and immoral people? That's a mean thing to say to the poor orphan Raju, who was captured by a beggar gang on the Delhi roads when he was just three and a half years old, that he deserved his misery. You should be ashamed of yourself!

Ego: Come one. I didn't mean that! Of course it wasn't his fault.

Self: So you mean some different sets of spiritual laws apply to you? Hmm.. Have you located a loophole in the cosmic plan? Muahahaha.

Ego: All right. What do you want?

Self: You said, "What's life without a purpose?"

Ego: Yes, I still stand by it.

Self: A life of purpose implies that joy of the journey lies in the anticipation of the destination.

Ego: Not exactly anticipation.. Hmm.. Yes ok! That's probably what I mean.

Self: You are basically saying that life is nothing unless spent in the anticipation of some distant dream. What if you never reach there? That life would be worse. Or what if when you get there you realize that the truth isn't even close to as beautiful as the imagination. That would be the worst thing right?

Ego: :( Hmm. You make me miserable. You know that right?

Self: Yes, because you live in a false world, blinded by your beliefs. I make you miserable because I speak the truth. Nevertheless, what I am coming to is: There is nothing worse than a life spent in anticipation. NOW is all that we have. In anticipation, we miss all the NOWs that constitute our life. What's left is an empty, meaningless shell dude!

Ego: I feel completely lost now! How can one live without purpose?

Self: That's for me to discover eventually. Once you die, I'll start living....